Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Mom, I miss you more each day. I don't know how I am getting along each day without you; without knowing you are near or a phone call away. I think everyday why is our family plagued with sadness. The Sadness of Loss. your grandson Michael has been guiding me through. I tried to be strong but failed I am sorry I wanted to make you proud. You can be proud of your grandson's they are both doing wonderful. They both work hard and I wish you were here to see how they grown into men. You were so strong in your last year of life. I don't know how you did it especially losing your son and then finding out about your cancer. I heard every word you said that dark day I have lung cancer Deb Stage 4. Mom what does that mean, how much time etc. I did not want to believe it. I wanted to believe my Mom would live forever. She is a fighter the strongest person I know. She beat Cancer before why not again. Sadly she knew this time she hadn't the chance. She suffered chemo just to see her kids and talk to them to help us through this time. Never selfish always worrying about us; I understand her now. I know why she worried she knew everyone of her kids and how they would react. She tried to prepare us for what would be our biggest night mare, knowing really there is nothing a person can prepare you for this type of loss. She thinking about all of us including her Husband, dog and whole family still had the weight of knowing she is dying and soon. Mom so brave yet so beautiful, you are missed so much I am trying to come to terms with your journey to the Heavens; Only I wish I was there to hold you touch your warm body one more time before your left for your journey to Heaven. I am praying every day and trying to tell myself you are in a better place than I am. Some day we will be together again forever in the Heavens of God. There we will never be separated again. You are loved and missed so much Mommy, We love you with all our hearts. I pray you are at peace and joined all our pass family members that predeceased you. I Love you Mom Debra (Debbie, Deb) your daughter (((Hugs))) kisses xxx and lots of love from a place that is only yours in our hearts.
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